I’m just wasting time here. Devoid of emotion, truly. I don’t know how those around me can’t see it. I wake up in the morning to the emptiness of my soul and lie down at night to the same. It’s more and more difficult to smile through it. No longer is there pain…there is no lingering thought of retribution against those who have wronged me, no more regret for those who I’ve wronged. No anger to fill my heart with precious rage. I have arrived at the bottom and there is nothing here.
I feel like a robot. Going through the motions…marching onward to nothing but more than what I have just left behind. And none of it seems worth it anymore. No amount of money, no material thing…nothing in this world can touch on this. Nothing can fill this void. I don’t feel my blood any longer…coursing through my veins…heart beating…breathing in the sweet air of hope. I’m dead, for all intents and purposes. Dead. And it doesn’t matter to me at all.