^^^ *Authentic pic of a sex machine’s mouth
I know! It sounds crazy, right? But I’ve been in withdrawals for a little minute now, (meaning about two weeks), and am on the back end of it, so I’m feeling pretty good. Since I have a chronic pain issue, I take pain meds. One of those medications really numbs me out in every conceivable way. For certain reasons, I stopped taking that particular medication and am experiencing a bit of an…awakening.
Awakenings are strange things. It’s like when someone comes out of a coma…ya just don’t know what’s gonna pop out. Okay, in all fairness, I’ve personally only been in alcohol and/or drug related comas, but that was just my body telling me that someone needed to throw me into a cold shower once the convulsions stopped. Good times…The thing is, I never knew what I might do once I came back to myself. Same as now. I feel creative and mentally sharp and alive. And like I could sleep with a ship full of sailors. As long as there was no actual sleeping involved. (wink, wink!)
The dilemma: I’m separated from my husband, with whom I still live. He does not agree that we are, in fact, separated, insisting that our marriage is totally salvageable. Believe me, it’s not. Our problems would fuck Dr. Phil’s head up. This has been going on since I left him four years ago. I came back for financial reasons and because I love my Exish. He’s family. He’s a friend. He’s my oldest…and I do mean OLDEST…son. Anyway, I can’t date. I’m in no condition to date. But I feel very…vavavoom hubba hubba. I am woman, hear me roar! Ya dig?
Maybe the real problem is that, in the last week, I’ve probably slept a total of a dozen hours. This is the part of withdrawal I hate. First, the pain sets in like a mofo, not letting you get a bit of sleep. This part doesn’t really seem very withdrawally, since it happens all the time when you have chronic and severe pain in your life. It’s like a bad boyfriend. Then, even on nights like this one, when you feel fairly good, your body just wants what it can’t have. (I’m talking about pain pills, not sex in this instance. Just to clear that up.). Then there’s the wrestles leg thing, and the headache that just won’t go away even after your stomach lining up and hauled ass to get away from all the ibuprofen you’ve been choking down. I honestly couldn’t say.
But, what if…just what if…I am turning into one of those old ladies whose sex drive kicks way off into high gear in middle age. Okay…LATE middle age. But what if???? That would be so weird. I couldn’t possibly have more sex than I used to. There just aren’t enough hours in the day. Hmmmm…Maybe I should go to the doctor. Have myself plugged up, just to be on the safe side. They do that in America, right? I’ll look into that. Or not…
Okay…yeah…I’m not gonna do that last thing…