I’m A Life Saver! You’re Welcome.


I do wish I were one of those bloggers that took pictures of foreign lands and had a cause I was passionate about. I wish I had something to say that I really WANTED to say. Look, man…the closest I’ve been to a foreign land was a chat I had with a man from Bangalore last evening while playing WordFeud. He asked me if I’d ever been there, and I said that I was not well traveled, therefore, I had never been there. I told him I’d Google it. A few minutes later, I told him that I did, in fact, Google it on Google Earth and that he needed to hold still so I could more clearly see the cut of his jib. He went batshit crazy! Game OVER. Seriously.

Yeah…I don’t know if I’m ever gonna be one of those relevant bloggers. I know it’s raining here and flooding there…ISIS is cutting off heads quicker than the cartels.  Cows have faces, but I still eat them and I don’t know enough about vegetables to become a vegan. Is there such thing as a Chocolatarian? Because I’m already that. Probably no accolades for eating your own weight in chocolate. But, even though I’m not saving any animal lives, I am helping reduce the number of cocoa leaves so that means less cocaine. Can I at least get some recognition for THAT???

OMG! I just realized that less cocaine means less deaths related to cocaine! Ergo…I’m actually saving HUMAN life! Like a doctor! OMG!!!! I’m a doctor!!!! Ish. But, still…I gotta go call Mom…

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