I got pain meds today. I took one when I got home a short while ago and, already, I feel the numbness seeping into my mind. The pain is subsiding, thank God. Sweet reprieve! My fingers move around the keyboard as they should, no constant pushing of the ‘back’ button. But my thoughts are dumbed down…vacant…as the medication hits my system after being off of it for three weeks.
I don’t know why people become addicted to this shit. Even when you need it, it doesn’t make you happy. Of course, you feel relief from the pain, and that’s a wonderful thing. But, at what price? For me, it takes almost as much as it gives. I’ve always been a writer. Throughout my life, writing has helped me through the worst situations…explained things to me from a previously blank page that I could not, before, understand, even though those very answers were in my head the whole time.
When I see news about some new pill mill getting shut down, or about how so many people are addicted to certain pain meds, I shake my head in disbelief. Why would anyone want to take this shit if they didn’t have to? How do you get addicted to something that makes you a zombie? The same could be said for many other types of drugs, as well. For me, it’s a godsend. Without a certain pain drug, my life takes on a shade of pain that fluctuates from grey to black throughout my days and nights. I so resent those bastards that abuse pain meds because they make it difficult for people like me to get them. Legally. Let’s face it, for every legal way to get any drug, there’s an illegal way to get it. But I’m not down with that. I’m just saying…it is a fact of life here in Los Estados Unidos.
I will say that I am looking forward to a good night’s sleep. Silver lining!