*Adult Content PG13-R ‘How Many Ways Can I Say It?’

11012157_489014817914828_4973444963302614388_nI’ve decided that the life partner I’ve been searching for needs to be of the mindset to become a slave. Given that my idea of what that means is not necessarily by the book, I don’t know why I’m having such difficulty finding that man. Most that I’ve met online expect a lil slap and tickle. That doesn’t work for me. I’m a fairly sadistic domme, not always, but mostly. I enjoy administering sever punishment. I like caning and clamping and hot wax and needles and blood play. I also like puppy play because it’s fun and makes me laugh. The list goes on…

I’ve gone on a few fetish sites, looking for my last love. MISTAKE. Though some may say that I am depraved, take a look-see around the net and you’ll realize that I’m the tamest dog in the pit. Goodness gracious! Is it too much to ask that I don’t have to listen to things like, ‘You do realize, Ma’am, that we submissives have all the real power?’. OMG! NO…I do not recognize that in any way. If you had all of the power, you wouldn’t be my lil bitch. The limits you set, I will respect, only if they match mine. Otherwise, get out of my inbox. I hate all the goings on and lamentations about submitting. It’s a ‘gift’…it’s a ‘calling’. Really? Tell that to anyone with a real calling. You know…like those people who feed starving children, or build houses for the poor. Your sexual (and, let’s face it…this is mostly about sex) pleasure, and what you’re willing to go through to attain it hardly constitutes a calling, you self serving moron. Good grief…

I want someone strong, too. Someone who could take me if he wanted to. Someone who only refrains from doing just that because he sincerely desires to serve. Is that too damn much to ask? Apparently, it is. I don’t want to pee on anyone, or otherwise dispense biological castoff on onto anyone’s body. I don’t want to stick a giant dildo into any man’s backside. In fact, I don’t want to deal with any ass play whatsoever. I think it’s gross. I’d rather not vomit during play time, thank you. And I hate subs who try to top from the bottom. You’re on the bottom, you’re gonna stay there. Mind games don’t work with me.

I just want what I want and I don’t think I’ll ever find it. And, in my case,  the journey sucks. I’m still not comfy with bringing anyone around here because I don’t want to hurt Exish, even though he deserves it. And I don’t want any drama due to his jealousy. He knows we’re separated, but he is still and alpha and that personality trait doesn’t lend itself to happy compromise. I also respect that this is his home, too, and that he is the father of my boys. So…I’m working around all of that as best I can. In any case…I suppose things will work out as they should. In the meantime, I’ll be on a vanilla dating site looking for a freak like me. In small town East Texas. Yep..this is gonna work out beautifully…

2 thoughts on “*Adult Content PG13-R ‘How Many Ways Can I Say It?’

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