Yeah, Well…

This day is moving along rather quickly. I’ve decided that, at 3pm, I’m going to start cooking and cleaning as though I have company coming. Maybe that will get me motivated. If it doesn’t, I’m going to the liquor store for more whiskey and getting blackout drunk. As they say…One must have a plan of action.

Damn, I can’t shake this mood. I am just so fucking tired. Pain level is back up, so I did something I rarely do and took extra pain meds. I hate doing that. I have no intention of going down that road. I’m tired of seeing people becoming addicted. And I know that there is very little that separates them from me, except that I began treatment with a conscious determination that I would not abuse my meds. That’s probably because I was raised by a woman who was addicted to prescription medication for as long as I remember. It’s what finally killed her. I think that was the most merciful side effect she ever suffered, to be honest. In any case, I’m just hurting and bitchy and tired. And it doesn’t look like there’s any clearance in that particular forecast today.

I need to get to the tattoo shop soon. Hopefully on a day when my pain level is low. But you have to book weeks, sometimes months, in advance at the shop I go to. I haven’t even looked around here. I have asked around, and there’s one shop that stands out. I went to their website and they look like a bunch of rock star tattooists. You know…people you pay ridiculous hourly amounts to so they can treat you like you’re never gonna be a cool kid? Yeah. They all work at this shop. All the artists shown were in their twenties with pierced everything and stretched ear lobes. GAG. I’m sorry, but if your ears are stretched to the point that I could put my hand through the hole, I’m gonna gag when I look at you. It’s not your fault, it is, indeed, my own. It’s not even judgmental gagging. It’s natural. I just can’t help it. In spite of that, I always feel like popping that little layer of skin. I don’t know why. I just wanna cover my eyes and reach up there and give it a good yank. Is that bad?

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