where true power lies

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i awaken to you

filling the darkness

and i am afraid

even so, silently, you watch

you gorge on my fear

you mock me

no consideration, no mercy

relentless, as always

my peace, stolen

as my mind races throughout the night

imagining the possibilities

of different beginnings…endings

questioning myself

blaming…hating

and i cry

~~~

remembering your weight on my body

your big, rough hands…other things

on the longest night that i ever lived

and i realize now

that it was all just a show of force

a temporary action meant to unlock a particular door

the words that you whispered

like a demon, in my ear

daring me to defy you

telling me to ‘give you a reason’

~~~

i couldn’t possibly have known then

that your true power would wait patiently

slowly revealing itself in shadows

and bumps in the night

that it would watch me, in silence

from the darkness beyond my sight

and i would feel it

evermore

throughout the decades of my life

for, had i known this truth to be

i’d have given you a reason

to deny me another breath

more than enough reason

to take whatever was left

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