Hey, Man, Don’t Be A Dickass!


…ya dickass.

I truly enjoy intelligent people. I admire them. When I encounter one, it is quite often that I will focus on them as though they were a firefly in a jar. BUT, when that person mistakes my admiration for ineptitude, or assigns my interest to me being intellectually stunted in some way, (as though I am looking to them to save me from my Gumpesque mentality), I lose my fucking mind.

Such was the case of an interaction between me and a rather smart friend of mine this afternoon. Do I think that he is smarter than I am? Absolutely not. Do I believe him to be smarter than the average? Certainly. However, his arrogance is what I find most fascinating. For endless hours, I have listened to and picked the brain of this individual, waiting for some sign that his ego was not the source of his ‘love’ of knowledge. Unfortunately, that did not prove to be the case and, this very afternoon, he went too far.

It isn’t every day that my brain is highly functioning. More recently, those days are fewer and farther between. I admit that I give off the impression that I may not be the brightest bulb on the tree. Most days, you’d be right in that assessment. But not today. Therefore, as my friend droned on ceaselessly about this subject and that, I realized that he was trying to make me look stupid on purpose. That sounds crazy, I know. But, I tested my theory and was proven right time and again. The man delighted in the thought that he was superior to me intellectually. In fact, he threw around the word ‘intellect’ as though it were a magic key to something life altering. Oh, lordy…

I tried to keep my mouth shut for as long as humanly possible. But, finally, the time came when I could take it no longer and, having realized that I was having a high functioning brain day, (YES, that is an actual thing! Because I said so, that’s why.), I let loose a bit of my own intellectual prowess. Which, though unconventional, is so far superior to this person’s that I cannot even explain it, lest I begin to speak in tongues. lol! Yes, the difference between us is THAT great. I’m not saying that I’m a genius. I am saying that I am simply far smarter than this particular person, when I am firing on all cylinders.

When I first began challenging him, he was a bit put off by it. Then, irritated. Then, he turned into a human dictionary and whipped out every five dollar word he knew on me. It was like he had some sort of ‘I’m smarter than you’ Tourette’s situation going on. I thought that he might actually have a stroke at one point. He was so flustered that he could not sway me, nor find an argument to subvert my own, that he was literally spitting mad. And I could not stop grinning. lol!!!!

Really, the only major difference between us, is that I never make assumptions when I’m arguing a point with someone. Never. Because this is a vast world we live in, full of people with life experiences you or I may not be able to fathom. Why would you simply look at someone and assume anything? Or judge them by their upbringing?

This man actually said that he assumed I was inferior intellectually due to the fact that I am simply a product of my environment, through no fault of my own. He went on to say that I should not feel bad about myself, nor be angry that I could not comprehend his interpretation of the subject matter of which we were speaking. This man who believes that his wife is powerful because she is the head of the BBB in their small town, spent the better part of his afternoon explaining to me what power was. Power, to him, is manipulation of the small minded by other small minded people. There is no true meaning to it, no real agenda, no end. To him, power is a fun game you play, as you flex your faux intellect and financial prowess in the presence of those even more small minded than yourself. In his world, power begins and ends with your own ego. I observed that he seemed to be a slave to his ego, which was quite disturbing, as I had not really taken notice of that before today.

As I listened, I remembered people I have had the pleasure of knowing in my lifetime, particularly, Pablo Acosta, who was a man who could have someone killed with a nod of his head. Someone else would kill FOR him, simply because he told them to. In my book, THAT is power. Pablo was also a man who would take the fruits of that poison tree of his and spread it all around to the betterment of the poor, especially children. So, you see why my friend and I could not come to a meeting of the minds. I never mentioned Pablo because I felt that this man did not deserve to know of such an amazingly loving, joyful and truly powerful, albeit fundamentally evil, man. Honestly, I think that my friend’s ego would swallow Pablo’s and still be ravenous.

Where I grew up, Pablo Acosta was one of many beloved local characters that had true power, as I perceive it. I don’t recall one of them who was a member of the BBB. lol!!! I also don’t recall any who felt the need to shout from the rooftops that they were superior in any way. They knew who and what they were and were content to abide in that ‘home’.

Per the norm, I am way off course here. It’s just that I hate smug and arrogant people. I want to choke them. Till they turn blue and their eyes bug out a little, then let them go, but not before I explain what just happened to them so they understand why they should not be such dickasses.

Maybe it’s me. Perhaps there is a bit of an inferiority complex that comes from not pursuing higher education. But, I tend to think that I just don’t like dickasses…LOL!

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