Pain, You Character, You!

I’m sitting here, watching Golden Girls, thinking how I’m going to move off this fucking couch. My whole body hurts. I think that my hair is even getting in on the fun. Lol! Omg! Is this really happening???

That virus thing I have seems like it’s not responding to the meds. Though the fever left a day or so ago, the other symptoms are in full swing. I look like I swallowed a watermelon. My tongue is swollen and blistered, and my gums are inflamed. Omg…Wth? This sucks. My body normally responds to antibiotics rather quickly. This stuff is just something else…

Staying on my diet. It’s cool today and I wanted to go for a walk, but I’m gonna pass. I don’t think I can walk too far. Every time I move, my body freaks out. So…maybe exercise bike.

It just seems so daunting. ..the prospect of losing a lot of weight. But I hate my body this way and I just can’t stay this way. I still can’t believe I let this happen. Omg! Wow…I have so much cellulite on my ass you could stage a fake moon landing on it. How is that gonna go away? I used to be involved in fitness, so I know how to fix things, but I’m old and in pain these days and don’t know if I have the balls to really get where I want to be.

My mom, fairly disgusted by my physique, offered to get me a gastric bypass. I politely declined, and truly appreciate, her offer. But I don’t think that’s for me. I worry that it won’t work until I understand what makes me use food as a crutch. To me, anybody who abuses anything has got to understand the root cause. And, if you understand that, and make peace with it, things like bypass surgery aren’t necessary.

Anyway…I’ve rambled long enough. Gonna move around and get this day going.

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