A love letter

I only ever wanted to be free

Of the you

Of the me

Of the goddamn WE

Though your body long since failed you

You live on

In every breath I take

Until I’m choking…gasping…drowning

In memories of you

You were my first everything

I was your grateful nothing

Alone, in the dust of our life together

I am frozen

Buried beneath the weight of the lies you left behind

Trying to understand three decades of deceit and anger and pain

Still telling myself the lies you told me

An obedient bitch till the end

If I could, I’d bring you back

Then I would gut you like a deer 

And play in the puddle of filth that was once you

Dead from the inside, out

Just. Like. Me. 

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