My God, it’s quiet in this house this evening. A soft fog hangs about the tree tops, and there is not a critter to be seen or heard. Alone with my thoughts, I feel haunted and out of sorts. I’m going to visit my cousin, Ally, tomorrow. Perhaps that will pull me out of this never-ending funk.
Since I woke up this morning, one thought has filled my mind: I am nobody’s Valentine. It’s the first time since I can remember. Even after Bennie passed, my best friend made certain that he sent a gift and such. He always spoiled me like that. He found the love of his life about nine months ago. She didn’t much like him having a female bestie, even though he insisted that he and I were a set, not to be separated. Silly man… So, I did the right thing, said my goodbyes, and blocked him from my life in every way I could think of. I miss him a lot, but it was for the best. But now…well, now I just feel alone.
This Valentine’s Day, Bennie and I would have endured our 32nd anniversary. The 30th was the last we shared and, though I deeply regret it now, I wouldn’t acknowledge it, or allow him to. I just couldn’t play ‘happy’ when things were so terribly wrong between us. My favorite anniversary was our 10th. Bennie had fallen asleep and forgot to pick me up from work that afternoon. By the time he finally managed to get up to the dress shop I worked at, we were about to close and the night was ruined, as far as I was concerned. We had a huge argument on the way home. I was furious…he was laughing. Since his uncle was in town, I made him drop me off and go to his mom’s house and visit with him. I knew he wanted to, anyway. So, he comes home really late and is about half drunk. He was smiling and brought me a heart shaped cake that his mother made for us. He handed me the cake, then sat down and pulled a taco out of a paper sack and began to eat it.
Standing there, cake in hand…watching him eat…I just got more and more angry. I mean…I was so pissed off that I could barely breathe! Before I could think about it, I threw the cake at him. Then came the tears…Oh, the drama! He jumped up, covered in cake. The next thing I know, we’re both yelling at the top of our lungs. It just went on and on for what seemed like forever. Then, for some reason, we both started laughing. We laughed till we cried. Then, we did it in the cake that was all over the floor! lol! IT WAS AWESOME! After that, we went and danced on the beach, did a lil drinkin and a lot more lovin. Got home with the sunrise and slept like babies. I’ll never forget it. Or Bennie, when he was the man of my dreams.