A bottle of Cuervo on the table speaks to me in gentle tones
The amber liquid shines in the sunlight that pours in through the window, as lovely as anything I’ve ever seen
I pick up my handbag to retrieve my afternoon dose of magic pills
They rattle around, sounding a bit like rain on a tin roof
Carefully, I pick from each bottle and a rainbow of chemical serenity appears, like candy, in the palm of my hand
Staring at them for a moment of quiet observation
I note how many more there are than there used to be
I am disappointed in myself
I am concerned
Little liars they are, one and all
Breaking every promise made
Crushing every hope of being free of this ungodly pain
Even so, I toss them into my mouth, then I crack open the Cuervo and wash them down
They hit me in an explosion of warmth as I sit back and enjoy the numbness that will soon follow
As my life fades to black before my eyes, I am grateful for the numbness
Longing for the day that it takes my hand and leads me beyond the Veil