A bottle of Cuervo on the table speaks to me in gentle tones
The amber liquid shines in the sunlight that pours in through the window, as lovely as anything I’ve ever seen

I pick up my handbag to retrieve my afternoon dose of magic pills

They rattle around, sounding a bit like rain on a tin roof

Carefully, I pick from each bottle and a rainbow of chemical serenity appears, like candy, in the palm of my hand 

Staring at them for a moment of quiet observation

I note how many more there are than there used to be

I am disappointed in myself

I am concerned 

Little liars they are, one and all

Breaking every promise made 

Crushing every hope of being free of this ungodly pain

Even so, I toss them into my mouth, then I crack open the Cuervo and wash them down

They hit me in an explosion of warmth as I sit back and enjoy the numbness that will soon follow 

As my life fades to black before my eyes, I am grateful for the numbness

Longing for the day that it takes my hand and leads me beyond the Veil