the trees across the way


It is nearly silent this morning, here in Mayberry. A few birds chirp here and there, but the silence seems to overwhelm their song. The grey sky sets a lovely tone for the peace the silence brings.

I’m gazing out of my window at the trees across the way, wondering what might live inside of that patch of forest.  It’s so dense that you cannot see beyond the first row of trees, so you just know that something HAS to be hiding there. This world is a large place and it’s filled with amazing and mysterious things. That’s what I think, anyway. And I am positive that some of those things live beyond the trees across the way.


It’s A Beautiful Day


It’s cold this morning. Very pretty outside, from what I can see. When my meds kick in I might go out and gather some pine cones and such to take to Mom’s. When I visit next time I’m going to do a couple of holiday garlands for her. I miss her so much, even though we see each other every few weeks. She is so much more than a mother to me. She’s my mentor and best friend…a sister. I can’t wait until she is ready to move up here.

My body is trying to have a pain day. Fuck that. I have things I want to do and that’s what’s going to happen. See, this is where I’m fortunate…I can decide to just power through it if I have to. Most times, at least. Lots of people can’t. Perspective. It really helps to maintain perspective. I think the weather is pushing my pain level up to a solid 8. But I can still move around, and I have all day to do/finish the stuff I want to do, so it’s all good.

I accidentally drank a pint of tequila yesterday. It was delicious! It warmed my body and eased my mind. I love that feeling. But…back home, in Realityville, no matter how good it feels, can’t do it daily. I’m probably a huge disappointment to a great many of my ancestors, most of whom were highly functioning alcoholics. I’m a highly partying alcoholic. Lol! Whatev…yesterday was nice.

Happy Thursday, y’all!

Ya Couldn’t, Anyway


This is one of my favorite songs. It was written by Shannon Hoon, and performed by him and his band, Blind Melon. Shannon died in 1995 from the requisite rock star overdose. If you ask me, it was a great loss to the world. The second video is his daughter, Nico, singing the song that her father loved so much.

I don’t feel the sun’s comin’ out today
It’s staying in, it’s gonna find another way.
As I sit here in this misery,
I don’t think I’ll ever, no lord, see the sun from here.
And oh as I fade away,
They’ll all look at me and say, and they’ll say,
“Hey look at him, I’ll never live that way.”
But that’s okay, they’re just afraid to change.
And when you feel your life ain’t worth living
You’ve got to stand up and take a look around you
Then a look way up to the sky.
And when your deepest thoughts are broken,
Keep on dreaming, boy, ’cause when you stop dreamin’ it’s time to die.
And as we all play parts of tomorrow,
Some ways we’ll work and other ways we’ll play.
But I know we can’t all stay here forever,
So I want to write my words on the face of today
…And then they’ll paint it
And oh as I fade away,
They’ll all look at me and say, they’ll say,
“Hey look at him and where he is these days.”
When life is hard, you have to change.
When life is hard, you have to change.